5 years ago, while hiking at a State Park I began to mull over a question which had already haunted for some time: How can I justify making art when I could be volunteering somewhere, helping people in genuine need?
Halfway through my hike that day I thought I had this question entirely answered, until I started putting together a poem in my head. When I got back to the car I immediately started writing the poem-prayer down, realizing by the time I was finished that I had the real answer to my question right there - in right brain creative form, rather than left brain analysis:
Every moment is a treasure. Every breath a gift. Help me, Lord, to not squander the present, And miss the truth within.
Being the kind of interior, reflective person that I am, I started looking for ways to justify making abstract art almost as soon as I decided to get serious about painting, back in 2012. With the help of this poem from 2015 I have been able to see that what I am really doing as an abstract artist is finding my "truth within," yes, my path to God - via abstract art of all things - in the deepest, most personal, profound way possible for me, using all of who I am!
For reasons I doubt I will ever understand, art, like motherhood, has simply been given to me - "a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over Lk 6:39 - for no other reason than to find God? Yes, I believe that is true for me.
My conclusion about serving the poor vs. making art is that the burden of my heart, the calling within me, so to speak, is to create, to make art, be it painting, poetry, writing, paperfolding...! While we are all called to help the poor, I now understand that I have simply not been specifically called to directly work in that field.
Such a little bit of a poem released me from feeling guilty about not responding to calls which just aren't mine as a full-time pursuit. My personal journey, my vocation for right now, is to paint! O the wonder!
