Yesterday I wrote about why I paint. Here I want to try and go deeper, give more details, about what keeps me painting by sharing a few of the insights that have come to me specifically because of making abstract art:
Emptying myself/clearing my mind is a central part of my art process. I never come to a canvas, or any creative project, with fixed ideas or even inspirations. Everything happens spontaneously in the moment.
About 3 years ago, for reasons I'll never understand, my mind took a major leap and applied this emptying myself concept to my attachment to simplicity. All of a sudden I was able to recognize that my life-long love of simplicity is not based on emptying my house of excess stuff but is a metaphor for the desire to empty myself of myself (getting rid of my arrogance, selfishness, dominance, judgments, criticisms...)! This was a huge life changing revelation for me!
Over the years, starting in 2012 when I first started painting and continuing to today, I have had lots of personal insights which have come to me precisely because of making art. For example, the connection between getting empty of myself, mentioned above, quickly led me to the further reflection that the reason I wanted to "get rid of myself," that is my character flaws, was to make more room for God - another total revelation for me! Nowhere in my life and experience had I ever thought that my faith life and my art life would ever turn out to be connected!
The ever increasing sizes of my unstretched canvases, my reliance on bold primary paints..., just about everything about how I paint, all turn out to have meaning, which takes me to the conclusion that far from being spontaneous and intuitive, my work is anything but random! There is intention and depth to everything I do - yet another revelation!
The more I paint the more I open myself to inner dialogues with subconscious influences and content that simply blow me away. O the wonder! Note to myself: "Never stop painting and creating, woman!"
